Devious Journal Entry

i was looking at someones journal and it said jan 2 2014 and it suddenly hit me how many years that is and i screamed and now im having an existential crisis again because about 7 billion people in the world aside from you have their own conscious thoughts and emotions and have a mind of their own and in as little as 20 years this population will double so that would compromise two people for wherever one person is standing right now and the world is huge enough to inhabit millions upon millions of living things that all eat each other yet it's one of the smallest celestial bodies you could ever find and there are things so far out there that it takes several dozen years for LIGHT to hit and just think about how quickly we see it travel in a sunrise  or something and how earth is almost 10 light-minutes away from the sun which is hella far and that dwarfish star has so much mass and burning hydrogen and helium at such a frequency that it has a gravitational force enough to hold planets that spin in huge ellipses around this ball of hot stuff and if it wasnt for just the right velocity to keep inertia balanced with gravitational pull wed all be sailing to our dooms and either burn or freeze in under 20 seconds because the habitable zone is so small but so mehow earth maintains this and however far we are from the sun to make something exponentially bigger than earth look like the size of a nickel other galaxies are billions of times farther but nothing is out there and there are so many dimensions and the most intelligent life form can only distinguish three of them and our minds cant truly grasp infinity because our minds arent infinite so we just accept that there is infinite space out there thats expanding but will never ever run out of room to move and the reason we even accept that there's infinite space is because of the light refraction bouncing off of the air particles in our stratosphere which makes it look closer than is remotely real which is also why the sky is blue and how light is the only reason that sight works and how we would never know if the sun became a black hole until the moment that last bit of light ran out 7-8 minutes later and then we still wouldn't see it because a black hole is the absence of light and it has a gravity with more pull than light has speed and the only thing left would be a tachyon which is a hypothetical particle that we dont even know exists and as it travels faster than light we would never see it coming until it hit us and the moment it would it would leave two images of itself because of how it defies light and there will be all these various dimensional and hypothetical copies of a particle that is hypothetical in of itself and now im rocking back and forth and crying